This is Day 30 of my challenge to get a flat stomach.
The last few days have been odd.
Since I weighed myself on 28th Feb and was faced with my apparent failure to lose any weight at all, I’ve started to pay more attention to what I’m doing and why I’m doing it.
I’ve uncovered a few things that surprised me:
1. I’ve lost my main motivation.
2. I haven’t yet found a stronger motivation to replace it (although I do have an idea!).
3. I’ve developed a small chocolate and ice cream habit.
My motivations to lose weight in the beginning were many and varied and to some extent they still are, but they were all pretty weak, none of them had enough power to drive my behaviour.
Except for one.
As much as I don’t really want to admit it, my initial motivator for wanting to lose weight was anger and frustration.
I was angry at myself (and a few others besides). My life wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go so I decided to change this one major thing in my life to show myself (and others) that I could do it.
Being overweight bothered me a lot and I felt that if I could fix it, I could fix a lot of the other issues in my life as well.
So I turned all my negative energy, thoughts and emotions into positive intent and action.
It is a great way to deal with something which is otherwise pretty destructive to yourself and those around you.
As I started to lose the weight I discovered that I was right, I was able to fix a lot of the other things that bothered me and so I didn’t feel frustrated and angry anymore.
Quite the opposite in fact… I felt pretty good about most things – including my weight and the way I looked.
Other than the desire to reach my target weight, my motivation was gone.
I think that as soon as I got to the point where I’d lost 30 lbs (which was my original goal), at some level I figured I’d made it.
I no longer had access to the original motivator.
I was no longer fat and there was nothing to fight or push against.
You see, I like the idea of having a flat stomach, but I’m not particularly vain – which is one of the reasons why I won’t ever be getting an orange spray tan like some of the other guys seems to do. I don’t have any tattoos and the only piece of jewellery I wear is my wedding ring. So other than not being fat I don’t really care (too much) how I look.
So, times have changed. There was a time when eating at a calorie deficit every day was more important than the food, but now I think I’ve switched and the lifestyle is more important than creating the deficit. I’m pretty happy just to maintain what I already have because there are plenty of other things to occupy my mind.
In other words my weightloss has (unconsciously) been put on the back burner.
My secondary motivation for losing weight was largely to prove (to myself) that the average person with a busy life could get good results with minimal effort, without making any wholesale changes to their life – and I think I’ve pretty much done that.
The six pack abs thing is a bolt-on. It seems like the next logical place to take it, but I’m not sure I’m invested in it like I was with the original weight loss stage.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have a flat stomach, and at some point this year I definitely will post a picture of me with flat abs – but clearly I’m just not fired up enough about it to avoid the ice-cream and chocolate trap I seem to have fallen into lately.
I’m still eating at a deficit, I’m still losing fat (I’m starting to see veins in the parts of my body where my skin is thinning out around my extremities, notably my forearms, biceps… but also around my lower abdomen) but this week I seem to have hit a brick wall.
Having just caught myself over the last few days sabotaging my efforts by eating too much ice-cream and chocolate for my dessert (and sneaking in a little chocolate later in the evening), I can now see why my progress is slower than I’d hoped. And this is truly bizarre as it comes only a week after I was worried I might be losing weight too fast!
As a short term measure I’ve decided to cut these delicious but very calorie dense foods out of my diet for a while and see if it makes any difference. In fact I’ll commit to cutting them out for the rest of the month.
One thing is for sure, I need to find a new motivation to get a flat stomach – fortunately I have something in mind and I’ll share that with you another time.
Diet Progress Photo’s
This is me today 01 March 2012:
This is me a the start of the challenge:
And as I was at 205 pounds:
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